It is a sunny Sunday here, evening time and I just sat down by my computer after a long day. It started with an early bike ride at six o’clock, and ended with a late one that ended at eight o’clock in the evening. Through the day, two messages were swirling around in my mind that I will try to combine or join together in this post.
Picture no. 1
I am going to deliver my messages with help of two word-made illustrations. First one is a conference after an NBA league match. There are two players of the losing team behind the table. Because of some bad performances there were some critiques rising. There was one analyst in particular that was critical towards the team. A journalist poses a question to the two players and brings up the analyst’s critical claims. The two players react.
Player number one says: I am not going to respond to those words. That guy is a joke! What has he ever done in life?! He is a grumpy person that just lashes over everybody, because he is a failure and has nothing to show for himself.
Player number two says: I didn’t follow critics or any sort of comments. But I think … we just believe in what we are doing. I think we are on a good way and we just need to stick with what we do. I trust it.
My first message is that big stars (both of the above are big NBA stars) are simply human just as we all are. You can see the second player showing what we called optimal self-esteem [check Authenticity chapter for more], and the first player showing the fragile high self-esteem. Big stars and best players in the world suffer from same struggles and can get tripped on same obstacles. A person that can calmly stick to own way is confident in what he or she does. A person that must put someone down to maintain a positive or strong self-image is in a weak spot regarding confidence. And if you find yourself in such situation – try to turn the thing around and don’t copy such behaviors.
Picture no. 2
A classroom in one of the faculties at Ljubljana University. I was working there as a teaching assistant and one of the courses was about leadership theories. One of the central goals of the course was for students to be able to critically judge and differentiate between various approaches to leadership. We dealt with theories, i. e. with definitions and thorough descriptions of various models, and practical cases. And for one particular lesson I prepared few movie clips depicting different leadership approaches. The task for students was to say, which one they see.
What I hoped this practice to look like, was that students show critical thinking about the topic. That is to have their own minds clear, and to show some objective reasoning. However, what happened was the following: the more famous the actor, the more democratic (or modern) the leadership approach. Going through it clip after clip, it wasn’t about what characters were doing, but who was doing it. And, by the looks of it, big celebrities could do no wrong.
What I saw in that classroom was minds of students being blinded by celebrities on the screen. Instead of having their own mind about the topic at hand, they simply let celebrities determine the right and the wrong, the autocratic and the democratic, and so on. Do you see what this means?!
Conclusion
A true confident person will always be able to talk to you and will not put you down. Never confuse thus shown internal fragility with confidence. And look into your mind and believes about what you value, what is right for you, how you want to be.
This post is another arrow launched up in the air. Against celebrities? I don’t know … maybe. Or is it against us – the society? Celebrities are people like everybody else; when they talk, it is not the truth, but their opinion and their mind that they talk about. In interviews they don’t share the rules for life, but only their own experiences. Don’t copy them; just use your own mind!
Paradim 