The writings so far have dealt with the development of authenticity in the individual. Triggers set in motion a process of self-exploration, self-awareness is built, and thus the individual’s life begins to evolve towards greater authenticity. This note is intended to give insight into one new, additional challenge: to be authentic in contact or relationship with others.
A characteristic the authors of the initial article call relational transparency. It is a trait that communicates that openness or transparency applies in one’s interactions with others. In very simple terms, this means that we also show others our beliefs and values, our true thinking. To be able to talk openly, even about our weaknesses, because we acknowledge and accept them.
Brutal directness? No …
Some time ago I watched a TedX clip in which the speaker described authentic communication by saying that it was “total honesty”, including “brutal honesty”. It is probably clear from all the transcripts that the concept we are dealing with is a very complex and comprehensive one. Expressing oneself does not mean sharing one’s own opinions, beliefs and so on at any cost. It comes with and is grounded on the awareness. Awareness of myself and the situation I am in. Why do I think what I think or feel what I feel? Are my thoughts my true thoughts, or are they implicated by anger?
Authentic living is conscious living. In relational transparency, the emphasis is not on “making sure everyone hears our point of view”. If a person doesn’t want to hear it, we can simply keep it to ourselves. We also nurture and develop more relationships with those with whom it is easier to express ourselves. The emphasis is on not rejecting our thoughts, beliefs, values, etc. So we do not pretend or play games. If you recall the theoretical term perceived self-worth: we do not want to diminish the value of who we are. Authenticity is part of positive psychology and it is important to cultivate or maintain a positive attitude towards ourselves.
A new challenge
In this explanation, we have returned to the core of the subject we are dealing with: the authentic person is interested in real, true images. The knowledge that a person acquires about him/herself builds his/her self-image. This image may be more or less accurate and reliable, and it simply becomes more and more elaborated with time and new experiences. For the authentic person, this image informs better decision-making. It is therefore something that enables them to make better choices about the people they want to have relationships with, the projects or organisations they want to join and work with, and so on. This self-image is solid, relatively fixed, and not something that she can either bend or want to bend or change: rather than that, she changes her choices and learns new ways of expressing this self-image better.
For example, terms such as vulnerability or emotional courage are used to describe this new challenge. But it also reminds us again that authenticity comes and develops with a great deal of learning, personal growth and development. Learning communication skills, other skills in relationships, in the workplace and elsewhere, gives us the opportunity to express more appropriately what we know about ourselves. When our behaviour is more in line with our personal qualities, it ultimately means that we make more use of our talents, while at the same time our actions are more effortless or natural and we achieve greater overall satisfaction.
Conclusion
Transparency in relationships means both being open ourselves and encouraging others to be open. Authenticity in relationships is recognised as the foundation for developing genuine, deeper relationships and for developing high levels of trust between individuals: both in the private sphere and in work environments. It is also considered to be one of the necessary themes when it comes to activating a person’s potential, or breaking through the limitations that hinder their development.
Paradim 